Welcome

The truth is I have way too much time on my hands. Facebook is dying and I tried three times to use twitter but I guess I was just too boring to get any followers. So twitter was a bore to me.  I just don’t understand how a site about tweets could be so popular. I digress…

Being unemployed gives me a lot of time to think. My baby has to go to daycare everyday even though I’m unemployed or we will lose our voucher. So I’m alone a lot.  When you’re unemployed you don’t have lot of options as to how you are going to spend your day.

I have come a long way. I am a survivor of Postpartum Depression.

When Nicholas was first born I woke up every morning wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. Sleep deprivation, stress, and a baby with acid reflux had really taken its toll on me. My baby cried so much that no one wanted to watch him. People would agree to watch my baby and thirty minutes before I had to go to work, they would call and bail out.

I knew I had to go to work. I knew I needed someone to watch Nicholas. Daycare was not an option because these daycare's were asking for $150.00 weekly. That’s $600.00 a month. I felt guilty about asking relatives to watch him because he cried so much.

All the baby books said my baby would start sleeping through the night by 3 months. It’s now six months and my baby still doesn't sleep through the night. Sometimes he wakes up three or more times to eat or play.

And don’t even get me started on money. A long time ago if I had a thousand dollars in my pocket I really thought I was doing something. Now I spend that in a week! Diapers, milk, baby wipes, clothes…. Babies aren't cheap!

And I have wasted so much money!! Had I known better I wouldn't have bought a bunch of new born clothes. I have bags of clothes I have to give away or throw away. The next time around if I decide to have another baby I will buy 3-6 month clothes instead of new born clothes.

I bought this expensive ass swing that my son hates. I got this top of the line bouncer that my son can only tolerate for fifteen minutes. I bought these overpriced doctor brown bottles that experts claim reduces colic and reflux. I haven’t noticed a damn difference between these bottles and the cheapy bottles. I feel like I have pumped money down the toilet.

But I have managed to make this a positive learning experience and I think I’m a better woman for it. I've learned a thing or two about budgeting. This budgeting thing has taught me a lot of self discipline. I have learned to appreciate people like my father who work hard because raising kids is not easy. Providing and being responsible for others mean you have to sacrifice. I've learned to appreciate my health. This list doesn’t end. That is just how grateful I am.

He is at the age where he smiles more and cries less. The other day while giving my son a bath I realized what a blessing he is to me. When he smiles so does everyone else. We call bath time “Splashy splashy time.” He just laughs and splashes water everywhere. I don’t even mind cleaning up the mess!

I just wanted to share this with everyone.. And YES I am one of those moms who tapes and take pictures of EVERYTHING. I'm one of those moms who thinks everything my baby does is cute. 

P.S. I just wanted to share this random story that made me laugh today.

While I was cleaning up today Carmella (My sister) was holding the baby for me. I thought I heard him crying so I peaked in to her room to check up on him. Quietly I spied on them. Carmella was watching videos on her laptop while the baby laying comfortably at her legs. As soon as the baby noticed me in the doorway, he frantically sat up and made weird faces at Carmella like he wasn't enjoying her company.

I thought it was so cute that the baby would think I’d get jealous of him cuddling with my sister!